Just Another Day Aboard HMAS Hammersley
by The HongKonger
Summary: A pregnant sailor, a massive game of hide and seek, a reference to facebook or farmville with this line: But I need to check my farmville otherwise my wheat will die, someone slipping on a banana peel and an unusual animal on board. Bomberfan11 challenge


**This was originally posted on SP Forums. **

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a pregant sailor ( could be anybody)a massive game of hide and seek on the hammersley.a reference to facebook/farmville with this line- " but i need to check my farmville otherwise my wheat will die!'someone slipping on a banana peel.an unusual animal on the hammersley (horse, cow, lion, goat, sheep, dolphin, etc.)  


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Bomberfan11 Challenge Attempt  
It was a usual day on the Hammersley. No, that was a lie because there was no such thing as a normal day on the Australian Warship and today was no different. RO has received a distress call from a pleasure boat twenty minutes away from the position. As the massive boat cut through the threatening waves, a young chef was in her room, hair in a small pony tail and seeing her breakfast again. It was not because she was sea sick, Bomber loved the sea but she was afraid that she might of caught something bad. With a violent knock on the door from Bird who was demanding to come in, Bomber flushed and stumbled out. Bird just waltzed right past her and Bomber went to prepare for the boarding party.  
When Hammersley caught up to the pleasure boat, Dutchy, 2Dads, Bomber and Swain were all ready to go. It was just X who needed to do something quickly in her cabin. When she did not arrive for the next five minutes, all four of them went to see what was holding the executive officer up. When they got to her office they saw the X on ferociously pressing 'harvest' on Farmville. The captain was with her  
"Hurry up Kate, I need to check my Farmville or my wheat will die," the CO said.  
"Go use your own computer," the X said.  
"But this one is faster," he whined.  
"That's because you keep downloading clothes for your Sims3," the X retorted and started plowing.  
"Um, sorry to interrupt but there is a pleasure boat in distress," Swain said.  
"Yes, yes in a minute, they can wait, my farm needs grapes," the X replied.  
"But maam, there is a wounded child on board," Bomber said.  
"And my cows need to be milked," the X said dangerously. The four of them backed away from the obsessed woman and decided to do the boarding without her. In the end, the child had merely hit a bar and Swain was able to patch the child up. The closest hospital was back in Cairns so Hammersley pointed them in the right direction before resuming their patrol.

Some random time later on the same patrol  
It was after the capture of a FFV with the six crew members under arrest.  
"So X, what were they after?" the CO asked.  
"They were after fish sir," the X replied. She had an improved mood ever since she found out she had leveled up to level 35.  
"We'll head back now, we need to hand them over to the feds," the CO said. The X nodded.

Back in Bomber's room, Swain was holding Bomber's hair as she emptied lunch into the toilet bowl.  
"Good Bomber, what did you eat?" he asked.  
"Nothing bad, I've had this for at least two weeks now," she replied exhaustedly.  
"That's not good," Swain replied and dragged his young assistant to the medical bay. He lay her on the bed and told her to get some rest while he monitored her. Swain however, had his suspicions which allowed his mind to wander back to a night where a certain Chef and a certain Technician got drunk.

2Dads and RO looked at each other as a wafting smell of dung floated inside a corridor. They tried to find what was making it but they couldn't. After failing to complete their mission, the pair went back the bridge when Charge, the X, the CO and Dutchy were all relaxing slightly. They all had their heads looking out the front window.  
"Did any of you smell something funny down there?" 2Dads asked. They all shook their heads. Dutch felt a soft kneading in his back leg. He turned around to see something that had most likely been hiding on the FFV and managed to get onto the boat while everyone else was concentrating on the foreign fisherman. It must've hid inside a transporter crate for when Dutchy actually opened his mouth, the full grown Panda struck him to the ground.  
"Oh my god," the X said. "I've got two panda's on my Farmville just like this one, I wonder how many coins this one will give,".  
"Somebody get it off me," Dutch yelped. RO and the Charge pulled the mammal off of poor Dutchy who the Panda had gained a liking too as it was liking his face.  
"I think we need to have a talk with those me," the CO said.  
"But sir, those men are Japanese," Ro said.  
"So?"  
"Panda's are Chinese," he replied.  
"Great, this is just great," Charge sighed.

Now with a Panda, a pregnant chef and two Farmville junkies on board, Hammersley had without a doubt, won the most incredible ship of the year award. Bomber stuck her head in the toilet every morning for the past three days, Dutchy and the Panda he named, NJ, began a friendship that belonged in a soap opera while the CO and the X competed for X's laptop. It was on the last day of patrol when Swain cornered 2Dads.  
"You idiot," he said.  
"What?" 2Dads said confused.  
"Bomber's pregnant with your baby,"  
"Oh," he gasped.  
"Oh, that's it, nothing else, something more colorful than Oh?"  
"I would but the website this is being posted too doesn't like people swearing," 2Dads replied.  
"Fair enough," Swain shrugged before whacking the young man like Leroy Jethro Gibbs before returning to check on the young, pregnant woman.

On returning to Cairns, NJ refused to return to land so Animal Service gave custody to Dutchy, Bomber got the test saying she was in fact pregnant and the Fisherman got to kiss their life goodbye. Back on the boat and patrolling once again, the Bridge was being run by a bunch of random's who nobody really cares about and their only purpose is to allow all the main characters to leave the ship while on patrol. With RO walking around the ship completely hopeless in locating his crewmates, tried to remember how he got into this mess. It was an innocent game of hide and seek which evolved into a fully fledged competition. Bomber was in 2Dads bathroom, vomiting all over the floor in revenge, 2Dads was with Bird, hiding inside the RHIB's, Charge had climbed up onto the roof of the boat and just sat there, the X was with her laptop, inside the ships fridge, the CO was with his own laptop, playing World Of Warcraft under his rack, Swain had gone to hide in the washing machine while NJ and Dutchy were left with using the junior mess hall. RO managed to find the CO first after he heard violent sword fights under his bed. Next was 2Dads and Bird after 2Dads trying to get her out of his hiding space and turning the RHIB on, making them fly off the boat and into the water. RO ignored Bomber but told her that he had found her anyway, next was the X because she was crying because the extreme level temperature in the fridge had clogged her computer. Similar to Bird and 2Dads tale, a random turned the washing machine on with Swain in it and RO had to rescue him, Charge had sneezed and fell off the roof and onto the deck while Dutchy and NJ were declared the winners.

It was during the third day of patrol when Charge slipped on a banana peel left by one of the unknown randoms. He fell forward onto RO who in turn, tripped over in front of the junior mess hall, causing 2Dads to trip over him when he tried to leave, spilling hot coffee all over Swain who staggered backwards and elbowed the CO in the face who fell unconscious onto Bird who, when tried to get up, grabbed the X who was helping Bomber to the medical bay and causing the pair of them to fall over and Bomber throwing up on everybody.

The End of this total crack fic!


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